christine + ism

slowly learning that that 

can’t breathe/nauseous/aching-in-your-throat-to-avoid-crying

feeling passes in time..

but slowly learning.

Today we visited my dad’s old friend who lives in Brentonico, which is 1.5 hours away from my grandparents. My dad has been trying to get in touch with him for years, as he hasn’t seen him in 43 years since they were in the army together.  His name is Rino.

Rino is definitely something else. He has the most beautiful house, and the most beautiful antique collections.. old books from 1500s and on, an entire museum of anything you can think of having to do with the World Wars, from army helmets, to cutlery, to horse shoes, to buttons. He has the nicest huge white dog named Fox and the cutest deaf little white cat named Romeo. I met his two daughters, their husbands, and his 4 grandchildren and we all had a nice lunch under a shaded part of his enormous and beautiful garden.  

Everyone knew who my dad was, Rino had told stories about my dad for quite some time it seemed that even his grandchildren were excited to see him. We even raised our glasses to my dad before we ate lunch. Such warm and interesting people. 

I aspire to have as many collections as Rino does.

I keep having the weirdest dreams

• every night i sleep 10 feet from the bedroom that my mom was born in
• according to my mom, the air here allows you to drink more and not get as drunk (at home she feels dizzy from one glass of wine)
• my nonno drinks broth after every dinner to fill in the holes, and i like doing the same
• mountain climbing is like life in more than the obvious ways
• i’m addicted to Lost
• i hate that we’re not talking
• i miss most: my car, my bed, my cats, and my best friends

about what various paths my life could have taken based on various decisions I’ve made in the past. One of those includes my decision to work at Second Cup 5 years ago, and as a result having met some very important people that exist (or played an important role for a short while) in my world.

Another one is this:

My parents are immigrants from Italy and my brother is 4 years older than me. Before my brother went to preschool, my nonni tried to get my parents to move back to Italy before he entered school. What if I had been a one-year old Canadian born baby who was then raised in Italy. I am 21 years old and I would definitely still be in Italy at this time. Who would I be friends with? Would my interests be the same? Would I be more tan? Would I be a better driver? Would I have more confidence? Would I still be the anxious person that I am living in Canada? What clothes would I be wearing.. and music would I be listening to? What car would I be driving? Would I still suffer from motion sickness when driving on curvy roads (which are basically non-existant in Edmonton) ? Would I be a happier person?

so many questions..

Weeds!!!!!!

Thoughts Don’t Define You
Aquarius Daily Horoscope You might notice that you are in low spirits today, which may make you feel like retreating into solitude. It could be that your feelings are telling you that there are times in life when it is healthy to be alone in order to become centered and recharge your energy. If you feel down today, you might try meditation, which may help you gain a more objective view about things in your life. As you bring your focus within, you can begin by simply paying attention to you breath. Using your breath as your mental anchor, watch your thoughts as they come and go. You might observe that these thoughts are random and may not even reflect your current state of mind. Watching your thoughts in this way can help you realize that your thoughts do not define you, which may make it easier to lighten your heavy mood. 

Meditation is a powerful tool that allows our minds to become aware of the effects our random thoughts have on our emotions. When we feel down, it is easy for us to think that our feelings are the result of something that is wrong with us when in fact they usually indicate that we need to slow down and take care of ourselves. Meditating helps us by teaching our minds that while our thoughts generate these feelings they often have little bearing on what is really going on in our lives. By observing your thoughts today, you will learn how to lessen the power they have over your moods.

jkohut:

Photographers have different eyes than other people. They see the world from a completely different perspective. No matter what they’re looking at, it has something special to it. To a photographer everything is beautiful and worthy of being in a photograph.

I’m living in a town of 2,000 people right now.

I can’t count how many times relatives have compared my piercing to the one on a bull.

Amy Winehouse and 90 youth in Norway have died.

When I lost my luggage in Amsterdam I almost went to the Oslo office for help.

I’ve met one person from Norway and his name is Jens.

This hoodie has “Newfoundland” written all over it.

Watched first episode of Game of Thrones. wow.

Half done season 6 of Weeds.

I’m waking up at 6 am to go pick mushrooms with my dad and brother.

Missing Edie, my mobile home, and all the good times it shelters

I had downloaded season 6 of The Hills and I’m currently watching episode 4.

It’s 9:30 pm here and it’s raining quite a bit outside. 

I’m feeling a bit like the weather and watching how psycho Speidi is, is kind of making me feel worse when it should be making me feel grateful to be in the complete opposite environment of a place like Hollywood. 

The highlights of my day were Lago di Tovel and eating pizza margherita for dinner. I’m feeling homesick and so I’m trying to drown my thoughts in pirated tv shows.

You could say I’m being a bit anti-social but someone’s gotta give me a break after how good I’ve been today. And I never said I wouldn’t enjoy any company while watching these shows.

I’m gonna go back to watching the demise of Speidi.

Amy Winehouse died today

finding inspiration where i least expect it

forbiddenalleys:

Phosphenes n. the stars and colors you see when you rub your eyes.

I have every night.

Tomorrow I am off to Italy, where I will be free of the shackles that the internet has on us.

And where I will live in a lush valley where time seems to stop, church bells ring louder, pizzas are made the correct way, and where the mountain air is so fresh that the people seem to live longer because of it.

I’m feeling post-potter depression and I’ve never, in the past, really considered myself a huge fan.  You can’t help it when something so powerful consumes an entire decade and in a two hour sitting it hits you that it’s really the end.

hair loss and not being able to pinpoint the cause.

there is a lot i need to figure out and fix when i get home.

i am my own project.

Finding the perfect gift